Undercover Changes Everything
by Traveling Buddha
Summary: Elliot reflects on what life has given him and makes a revelation. He loves...plz RnR
1. Default Chapter

"Daddy, daddy." I hear a light voice yell from behind me. I turn around and see a small girl in a blue jacket with long brown hair running towards me. She jumps into my arms and wraps her arms tightly around my neck. I look into her bright, big brown eyes and all the pain I felt was just washed away.  
"Hey Sierra what are you doing here?" I ask watching Olivia walk toward us.  
"Cragen Called and said that you might need us," she says wrapping her arms around me. I feel her lips against my cheek and smile as her hand squeezes my butt. I blush slightly but am suddenly knocked out of it when I hear my daughter ask, "Daddy guess what I did today?"  
"I don't know, why don't you tell me," I say as Olivia leads us further into the park. I hear my daughter begin to talk about her day, but by the time she gets to brushing her teeth I begin to drone out.  
I know this may be a wrong statement to make, but in all honesty out of all my children Sierra is my favorite. I love everything about my life with Olivia. She never criticizes me or that sometimes I come home late. I think she understands it since she is a cop too. And with my daughter, I don't know.it's just she's just the girl that can never make you angry all she can do is make you smile. You can't look at her and not smile. I love her so much. She is truly my heart and small.  
I still can't believe how this relationship came to be. I remember Olivia and I were working on this case were rich couples were being raped and murdered in their own homes. Of course the murderer was very neat and clean and never left any evidence so we could find him. That bastard! Well along with being neat and clean, he was also picky. Only you rich white couples. Husband usually was a vice president of some major company and the wife usually worked the runway or screen. After the third "coincidence" we turned to the thought of serially killing. Of course to prevent anymore- real killings Olivia and I were picked to be sitting ducks.  
A month we had to work on that case until we finally caught the guy. Well actually it was a woman and a man she was a maid at all the couples houses and was able to fool them, and he was her so-called boyfriend. I wish my children didn't have to grow up in this world. After the case had finished my feelings for Olivia grew from the core and love for I had as a partner to the woman I want to just sit on the porch with and grow old with. I knew that I loved her from the first time I saw her, but now she was showing it back to me.  
I even remember the first time I asked her out. It was probably a month after Kathy and I divorced an in the squad room we were the only two left. I remember the soft feel of her sock against my leg as I watched her bite the top of her pen. Her lips are so luscious and beautiful I thought to myself, but judging by the way she was looking at me she knew what I was thinking. I clasped her leg in between mine and broke a big smile. "Would you like to go out with me?" I asked as nervous as a young teenager who just hit puberty. The wait she made me go through made me so nervous, but after five seconds she uttered that word I so wanted to hear.  
"Yes!" the way she said even made my heart pound faster.  
Later that night I took her to this very nice hot dog stand and we walked over to central park and talked for I think two hours. I know the hot dogs seem strange, but Liv love's them she once told me, "If I ever had to choose between a Hungarian restaurant and a hot dog stand to take with me to a deserted island. I would choose the hot dog stand." At that moment I knew she was my soul mate.  
We had a few dates after that night and then she asked me to move in with her. I know it seems strange that only after four dates I moved in with her, but truly we had been with each other for six years.  
Every morning felt like a dream waking up next to her. It still does. I always take in the small of her hair and the way her skin looks in the light when I wake up. I then whisper how much I love her into her ear.  
I know that many people say that when you get married it's the most nervous time of your life. Well I beg to differ at least with Olivia. With Kathy I had no problem asking her to marry me since she was pregnant with Maureen, but with Olivia there was nothing forcing me to do it except all the love I have for her. The way I had set it up my mother said was purely romantic, how could Olivia not say yes. I rented a hotel room in of course Olivia's favorite hotel. I used nothing but candles to light the room, and I spread roses in every spot of the room. Since there was a small table in the room I place two hot dogs and two bottles of beer on it. When I brought Liv up to the room she was overwhelmed by surprise, but she did tell me that she loved the hot dogs and beer. After we finished our dinner I told her to go sit down on the bed and close her eyes. As she waited there I took out the ring I had bought for her and knelt down in front of her. I stroked my fingers over her hand letting her know she could open her eyes. As she looked down at my face and the ring, tears began to fill in her eyes. I was down on one knee struggling not to groan out in pain as I asked her those words. "Olivia Benson will you marry me?" It was so simple yet those few words meant something so special.  
"Y.Y." she kept trying to get the word, yes out but all she could manage was to smile, cry, and shake her head yes. I remember watching her face as I placed the ring on her finger. It was full of life, nothing like I had ever seen before. At that moment she knew someone loved her, and I still do.  
As we began to plan the wedding I felt so sorry for my Livbug. I had so much family I wanted to invite and she truly had no one. Her mother was her only family and after she died Olivia was left alone to deal with all her demons. I think seeing her suffer so much is what made my love for her boil. Anyway we decided on a small wedding. I had Cragen, Munch, and Fin as my best men and Olivia chose Alex Cabot as her bride's maid. Our wedding was so beautiful but most of all Olivia looked like a goddess. Everything about her was glowing. Short and sweet are the only words I can use to describe our wedding. Wow it's been four years. I can't believe it; it still feels like our honeymoon, which I will NOT talk about.  
"Dada." Was Sierra's first word and I was actually there to hear it instead of watching it on video like I did with Maureen and Kathleen. After she completed her first word she looked up at me and smiled. It was amazing to see her know who I am.  
For a few weeks Olivia had been sick and I kept remembering all the times Kathy was pregnant and how her symptoms related with Olivia's. She stayed home sick one day and when I was going home I stopped off to get some roses and a pregnancy test. When I arrived home Olivia was in bed with a glass of ginger ale on the nightstand. I handed her the roses and pregnancy test. She looked up at me and smiled as she pointed to the bathroom. I remember walking in there and seeing the pregnancy test on the bathroom sink and smiling.  
A few days after we had found out that Olivia was pregnant we went to our first doctor appointment. Seeing my daughter for the very first time on the screen made me feel on top of the world. Watching Olivia go through the stages of pregnancy made me laugh and smile. Her stomach really never got as big as Kathy and it was just amazing. The first time our baby kicked made my smile muscles hurt for about a week. I couldn't stop smiling. I think for even a few month's I slept on top of Olivia's stomach just listening to my.our child living.  
June 11th at 2100 hours I heard my name screamed across the house. I ran so fast as I could toward our bedroom and I found Olivia sitting upright on the bed breathing through a contraction. We spent some odd hours at the hospital I still guess 17 hours but Olivia swears it was 22. Anyway I stayed there by my wife's side and by my child's. Sometime late the next night Olivia gave birth to a 6 bound 2-ounce baby girl. Watching her be born was one of the most magical moments of my life. "Hello sierra," were the first words that came out of my mouth when I held her. Everything about her is perfect I told myself as her small hand wrapped around my finger.  
Everything about our lives together is perfect. Seeing Olivia and Sierra playing together, cooking dinner, and being them makes me very happy. I come home everyday and see their smiling faces. I go to work and still see Olivia. My life now is the one I love.  
"Hey what are you thinking about?" Olivia asks me as she wraps her arms around me.  
"Us and al of this," I say smiling at her as I bounce Sierra on my knee.  
"And do you like it?" she asks me resting her head on my shoulder.  
"I love it. Livbug what would you think about having another baby?" I ask kissing her forehead.  
"I want mommy have baby," Sierra says smiling at me as she hugs me.  
"I'll think about it," Olivia says as I took her hand in mine.  
"I love you." I kiss her once and then again as she wraps her arms tighter around my waist. 


	2. UCE prt 2

After walking around the park for an hour we went back home. Olivia and I sat down on the couch while Sierra went to play in her room. I brushed my hands through Olivia's hair smiling as I feel her breath against my other arm. I love that she has grown it out again. I mean don't get me wrong her short hairs great, but when it's shoulder length it's so beautiful. "So have you though about it?" I asked kissing her soft hand that smells like jasmine. I love that she uses all those types of hand lotions.  
"What?" she asked disturbing her form her stares into space?  
"Another baby," I said pulling my arms around her tighter.  
"Yeah, I have," she said shining her brown eyes at me.  
"And?"  
"I don't see why not," she said kissing my chin. I rested my head on her shoulder and began to kiss her neck but we were suddenly interrupted by Sierra walking out into the living room.  
"Mommy, mommy. Will you read me a story," I heard her say as she ran up to us.  
"Sure sweetie," liv said picking her up and placing Sierra on her lap. "So what's today's story?" she asked taking the book from Sierra.  
"The Christmas Bear," Sierra said lying back in her mother's arms. I laughed to myself. She loves that book ever since her first Christmas when she got it. It's the only book in her room without dust on it.  
"Okay, well let's begin," Olivia, said as I got up to get us something to drink.  
"And god bless Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, Dickie, Grandma and Grandpa Stabler, and.Daddy who are mommy's parents?" she asked. I felt my whole face go white. I knew I had to explain this to her one day, but I didn't know the time would be then.  
"I'll tell you some other time okay. Now get to sleep." I kissed her on the head then placed her bear under the covers with her.  
As I walked back into our bedroom I found Olivia sitting on the chair looking out the window crying. "Liv what's wrong?" I asked walking up behind her.  
"I overheard you and Sierra and all those memories came flooding back," she said taking a hold of my arm. I took a hold of her hand and smiled as I brushed her tear away.  
"It's okay. Sierra and I are your family," I said taking a hold of her hands. She looked up at me and smiled as she wrapped her arms around my waist.  
"Come on, let's get you to bed," I said picking her up in my arms and carrying her to the bed. She rested her head on my chest as her hand traveled up my shirt. "I love you," I whispered to her as she fell asleep in my arms.  
That one very special night was amazing. Olivia looked so happy afterwards everything about her was glowing. I remember looking into her eyes and just seeing all her love cover all her pain.  
The next two month's were so lovely to watch. She was always glowing, except for the frequent trips to the bathroom. I think she was actually worse with the second pregnancy than she was with the first. The way she told me was actually quite funny. She kept giving me clues like making me look at baby clothes, and even name. All for a "Friend." Although I didn't get the hind until she finally showed me the picture. What an idiot you think I am right. Yeah well you try working three back-to-back shifts.  
Her pregnancy was so much fun to watch. This time she went through all the hormones, the "I'm fat stage," and even the insane, "I hate you stage." I still love it though to see her change in so many different ways is such a fascinating thing.  
Although what I loved most about the pregnancy was how Sierra reacted. She loved that her mother was pregnant. Every night she would sit on our bed and read stories into Olivia's stomach. She would always kiss it or say I love you to it. I loved that she so understood about the love she had to share. She was only three and much more understanding than Maureen was when she was sick.  
Three months' before our new edition was supposed to arrive we had a big surprise arrive at our doorstep. I had just arrived home and was sitting on the couch with sierra reading her a book when the doorbell rang. I looked at Olivia who just shrugged her shoulders and walked to the door. She opened it and Elizabeth came rushing into her arms. Dickie did the same it just took him a few seconds. It's a guy thing. "Hew what happened?" I heard Olivia ask as I walked up behind them. Elizabeth looked up at me then ran into my arms.  
"Daddy can we stay here with you and Liv?" she asked looking up at me with her watery eyes.  
"Of course, but what happened?" I asked soothing her by rubbing her back.  
"Mom never came home. She called us and said that she didn't love us anymore and to go survive on our own," she said which made his heart pound in anger.  
"Did she says where she was?" I asked as we walked over to the couch.  
  
"No. We thought it would be best to come here," she said curling up next to me.  
"Well every thing's okay now," I said brushing her hair out of her face.  
"Thank you," she said in a teary voice.  
"I love you," I said as she and Dickie fell asleep on the couch.  
Watching the family, my families become that happy together made my life feel complete. Although we never heard from Kathy again, it was a good thing. Dickie and Elizabeth thought of Liv as more than a mother than Kathy. They've always loved Olivia and I'm glad she's the second mother. I think they're glad too. They love that she respects them. I loved that they were around my worries for Olivia and the baby had greatly decreased. Lizzie loved and still loves helping Sierra learn math and reading. I truly think one day she'll be a teacher. Anyway Olivia loved the quiet time that Lizzie gave her. And I loved that I wasn't playing chauffeur anymore. Dickie ran Lizzie, Sierra, and when I wasn't there Olivia everywhere. In many ways I was glad that Kathy left them and they're here with, they seemed so much happier.  
February 29. I remember that day so clearly. It was to early in the morning but Cragen was already yelling at me for being to rough on a perp. After he was finished chewing on my head and spitting it out I headed to the bathroom. Just as I was about to enter I head my temporary partner talking to Lizzie. She was so confused by what Lizzie was telling her that I had to rush in and save her. "Hey you two what are you doing here?" I asked picking up Sierra.  
"We've come to save you," Lizzie said. "No really, Olivia went into labor and I think you may wanna be there," she said as everyone pushed me out to my car.  
When we arrived at the hospital Olivia was sitting in a chair rubbing her stomach. She looked up at me and smiled as I walked up to her. "Hey how's it going?" I asked pulling her up off the chair.  
"Okay, but it'll be soon," she said hugging me as I lead her over to the bed. After a few hours Samuel Eiden Stabler was born at 1300 hours. It was amazing to hold him he looked exactly like me well all except his hairline. That was diffidently Olivia.  
"You know Cragen, Much, and Finn will be here soon to see this little one," I said rubbing my son's chubby little cheeks. She looked at me and smiled as she and Sierra reached over and stroked Sammy's head. "I love you," I said kissing Sierra on the cheek; then leaning over to Olivia and kissing her. 


	3. Goodbye

Hey Elliot, it's your Livbug. I just found your journal today. I can't believe you wrote all this down. Thank you, now our memories can live on forever. I'm finishing this for you, because of course you can't. Your funeral was today. Our grandchildren are looking great and so are sierra and Sammy. I miss you so much now. I miss making fun of your gray hair and your stomach. I wish you were here right now so I could smell you. I'm gonna miss the smell of you. Just smelling your bottle of cologne isn't enough. I love you very much, I always have, and I always will. Your life has been so great and I'm so glad to be a part of it. You're the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and to this world. All your children love you, so do your grandchildren. They miss you. I promise you every day I'll visit and forever keep your memory alive.  
Thank you so much for giving me everything, and for taking all my pain  
away.  
I LOVE YOU  
Your Livbug  
Olivia. P.s. soon we will be together again. 


End file.
